IDEAS FOR WEDDING FAVORS >>
Ideas for wedding favors
Traditional German Wedding
In a traditional German
setting the bride does not wear the Diamond engagement ring that has become a
North American tradition. I wonder who created this tradition here. Brides
who like the idea of something sparkly on their hand? ...well who can blame
them – they are spectacular. In a German Marriage while the couple is
engaged they wear a simple gold band on their ring finger on their left hand.
Once married the ring is then transferred to the right hand. This applies to
both the Bride and Groom.
A tradition was to put together a scrapbook of
pictures, stories, etc of the bride and groom in the form of a newspaper.
This newspaper was to be sold at the wedding to raise money for the couple or
simply as a gift to the new couple.
I have also read where there was a tradition of
moving the bride’s belongings to her new home in a cart with a driver and
musicians. The Groom would meet her at the door with a jug of beer. Perhaps
this is where offering your friends beer on moving day started? She would
then give him a pair of shoes, a shirt she had spun and woven and the key to
her bridal chest. I understand the shirt, something she made for him showing
dedication and the key to the chest is turning over her trunk of stocked up
items to him but can anyone explain the shoes to me?
Have you ever been to a wedding that seemed to
take hours and hours to finish? Watching the ring
bearers and flower girls writhe and wiggle in sheer frustration thinking
when will this end? ... well a traditional German wedding lasts for three
days!! No, not day and night, but a sequence of events over the course of the
three days involving ceremonies and informal and formal celebrations.
It all starts with the Civil Ceremony attended
by the family and close friends. This is a smaller setting that is necessary
in Germany.
Without this a religious ceremony would be illegal and invalid. After the
Civil ceremony there is a small informal dinner.
The following night they gather
friends and family members for a "Polterabend", or wedding-eve party. This is
when things get a little crazy as the translation I found for Polterabend is
‘rumbling night’. The couple is teased and toasted and then they smash china
to celebrate their good fortune. Yes, you heard me – the smash china! I
don’t know about you but typically we just heard this with the Greeks yelling
Opal! but this traditional also appeared in the traditional German wedding
ceremonies as well. The couple will then sweep up the china together to
symbolize that nothing will be broken in their home again. How sweet is
that? .. Do they have any idea how destructive children can be? .... lets not
tell them, they’ll find out soon enough.
The last day involves the
religious ceremony. This is held in a different location than the initial
civil ceremony. It is said that the Bride will carry with her during the
ceremony Salt and Bread as a predictor of a good harvest. The groom carries
grain which symbolizes wealth and good fortune. The bride wears her own crown
she has created out of wire, tinsel, flowers, and pearls. This is unique to
the bride but the dress can be new or an heirloom passed down from a family
member. It is said to be bad luck for the bride to remove this before
midnight or have anyone else try their crown on.
Instead of having flower girls
they have pages who wear floral wreaths in their hair and decorated baskets.
I have heard that lily of the valley are a popular choice for decorating and
also provide a beautiful fragrance as well.
As they exit the church, the
doorway is decorated with flowers and garlands and Red Ribbons – part of the
“Roping the couple’ tradition where they must pay the ransom to be released.
The ransom is typically the promise of a party.
As they depart it is said that
they then saw a log in half demonstrating their first task together as husband
and wife. I thought this sounded a bit odd. As a bride can you picture
playing lumberjack in your dress? Make sure you use that anti-perspirant
that is 'strong enough for a lumberjack but made for a women' girls!
The wedding
reception is full of food and music. The couple dances their first dance
together and this is traditionally a waltz – no, not a polka, that comes
later. The couple drinks from the Bridal cup together. This
is called the Brautbecher, and the gesture of doing this together is a symbol
of their union.
As the couple leave their
reception this is when the guests throw rice. It is said that the number of
grains of rice that remain in the bride’s hair will be the number or children
the couple have. When they return to the newlyweds home the groom carries the
bride across the threshold and they share a bite of bread to show they will
never go hungry.
Scottish Weddings
If it’s not Scottish..... As
with most all countries and cultures I am seeing how some of the longstanding
traditions are still showing up in the modern day wedding plans as well. A
colorful and festive blend of the old traditional ways mixed with the modern
practices. The events of the traditional Scottish wedding can last just one or
even two days – yes leave it to the Scottish to stretch the party out!
Scottish wedding practices that were part of ceremonies for many of years had
roots in pagan rituals. Tying the knot originated from the bride and groom
ripping their wedding tartans and tying the pieces together as a symbol of
tying the two families together. Some rituals that are clearly no longer in
practice include the banns being called three Sundays in succession. On the
Tuesday after the last calling that was the day the wedding would take place.
In the historical times the entire Village or town would be involved in the
celebration with people lining the streets and cheering on the happy couple. I
read of a couple of rituals in the traditional times that tell me that these
grooms were really dedicated to want to go ahead with this. How does this
sound? You’re taken captive by your friends, stripped to the waist , bound and
‘Blackened’ using things like feather, soot or flour. If that’s not bad
enough... now lets parade you through town shall we, making enough noise to
raise the dead to call attention to the groom. The aim here is to make this as
embarrassing as possible. Now don’t get too cocky ladies because I also read
that in certain parts the same thing happens to the brides as well, perhaps
with the exception of being ‘stripped to the waist’ I would imagine. Another
wedding ritual known as 'creeling the bridegroom', involved the groom carrying
a creel, which we would simply call a
large basket, filled with stones and he was to hike from one end of a
village to the other. He would have to do this until his bride to be would
come out of her house and kiss him. This kiss would be the only way his
friends allow him to escape from the ‘creeling’ and if she didn’t come out and
kiss him he had to continue until he had completed the circuit of the village.
I tell ya, this groom really showed his dedication to have had to have gone
through all this! On the day of the wedding, the bride was to have a sixpence
coin in her shoe and a sprig of Heather in her bouquet both as gestures of
‘luck’ and good fortune. Any groomsman who wears a kilt is to have heather on
his lapel as well. The luck doesn’t end there as may symbols and rituals
continue to emerge. A horseshoe which is an emblem of good luck and is hung
from the bride’s shoulders or carried as an accessory. It can be made of
pretty much anything, and decorated with flowers. Never turn the horseshoe
upside down, or all luck will fall out! Gold rings with Celtic knot work were
popular in Scotland. The tradition of exchanging gold rings dates back to the
1540's. The exchange of the rings has always been a main feature in Scottish
wedding ceremonies. A ring has no beginning and no end and as such symbolises
the love within a marriage. The rings being worn on the third finger is traced
back to the Romans. They believed that the vein on this finger ran directly to
the heart, so by placing the ring there it became a symbol of the pledge and
said to bind love and life. After the religious service, the wedding
party was met at the church door with the firing of guns and bagpipes. The
ensemble was then led home to the wedding breakfast. I read in some villages
the bride’s father would throw coins to the children in the streets as the
bride would step into her vehicle. This ‘wedding scramble’ was said to be
another sign that would deliver financial luck. The celebration continued
through the day and night. The guests sat down to the large banquet of food
and drink, while songs and toasts were given. The Dancing would commence with
a foursome including bride and groom,
best man and maid of honor and a Scots ‘reel’. Then the guests joined them on
the floor and danced until morning. The Brides cog contains a mixture that
varies in ingredients and measures for each wedding. The base would be a
potent alcoholic mixture which could be an ale, whisky, gin and/ or brandy
mixed with sugar and pepper. These Cogs were important elements at the
traditional weddings and a version of these still appears in traditional
weddings as well. Consumed first by the bride before being passed around the
hall, constantly being replenished so that nobody goes dry! The bride is
carried across the threshold of the couple’s new home by the groom and placed
in the couple’s bed to protect her. This was linked to the superstition that
evil spirits inhabit the thresholds of doors The ‘Second night’ is the night
after the ceremony where there was yet another night of eating, drinking and
dancing. They Scottish really know how to throw a party!
Irish Weddings
“Marry in May and Rue the Day” …”Marry in April
if you can, joy for a maiden and for man.” With a traditional culture steeped
with superstition and symbols, customs and rituals for luck and good fortune,
even today an Irish Bride would steer clear of a
May wedding. For those in parts of North
America we
typically avoid April for the simple fact that there exists the threat of
‘April showers’. May, June and July can offer a colorful backdrop with an
enchanting display of flowers in many parks or even your own backyard.
We might assume that the color of choice for
the Traditional
Irish wedding would be green. Much to my surprise I found that this is
not the case. Green was thought to attract the attention of the fairy folk
that may become enchanted with the bride and create some mischief for her. To
avoid the threat of the fairies the bride would historically wear blue which
they considered to be the color of ‘purity’.
The Irish bride would carry and actual
horseshoe with her down the isle. Today this would be substituted with
something in flowers, fabric… likely something less weighty and a little
easier to handle. Yes, the horseshoe was for luck and after the ceremony the
horseshoe was hung above your doorway for the luck to carry with you. Don’t
forget to point the ends up or all the luck will run out!
The Bride would also carry a Magic or
Lucky Hanky. This could be handed down from generation to generation. The
Hanky would also be used as a Christening bonnet for the children of the bride
and groom by using a few simple stitches with a needle and thread. The
threads are snipped and their daughter can use the hanky on her wedding day…
and the circle continues.
The exchanging of coins, where the groom
and bride pass coins to one another is a symbol of ‘worldly goods’ and occurs
after they exchange rings. Traditions indicated that if the coins ‘clink’ as
they pass them that would be a sign the couple will be blessed with children.
This money is referred to as ‘luck money’ and the coins were held as a
keepsake until the first born son was married. At this time he would use the
coin to pass to his new bride… again we see the circle continue.
In the past, the wedding
reception would be a vast collection of foods and drink. The last thing
the Irish family would want would be to appear ‘stingy’ with the amount of
goodies at the party afterwards. Tables laid out with lamb, salmon, shrimp,
cabbage, mashed potatoes, and a collection of breads as well as beverages
would be plentiful. The traditional wedding cake was the Whiskey soaked fruit
cake… three layers, with the top layer being preserved to consume after the
birth of the couples first child.
I was surprised to read that the term
‘honeymoon’ actually has it origins in the Irish term 'mi
na meala' which translates to ‘month of honey’ or the first lunar month that
follows the wedding. The couple would receive enough Honey Wine with special
goblets to toast each other for the entire month.
The sounding of bells is
considered a means to ward off evil spirits and restore peace if a couple is
having a disagreement. This chiming of the bells would also serve to remind a
couple of their wedding vows. Bells have become traditional gifts for an
Irish bride and groom in light of this belief. It’s a much nicer way to undo
something, a simple sounding of a bell to restore harmony.
Greek Wedding Traditions
Honoured as King and Queen for
the day the traditional Greek wedding has the Bride and Groom wearing crowns
of gold, or perhaps even of orange blossoms with silk ribbons woven through
them to give them that royal flare. The crowns are placed on the couple by
the priest during the formal ceremony. When the day begins the bride is
actually wearing a veil of yellow or red. These veils were to symbolize fire
warding off and protecting her from any evil spirits or demons. The big
diamond on her hand, well that was a significant symbol as well. The diamonds
were said to be teardrops of the ‘Gods’ and reflected the flames of love. It
is also tradition for the Greek bride to carry sugar, sometimes in her glove
as a sign of a sweet life ahead.
The first part of the formal ceremony is the
Service of Betrothal. This is when the rings are exchanged. The rings are
blessed by the priest then placed on the third finger. At this time the
couple’s religious sponsor; called the ‘Koumbaro’, exchanges the rings between
the bride and groom three times. The symbolism of the three motions is to
represent the Holy Trinity. This is repeated when the crowns are placed on
the couples heads as well. They are then transferred back and forth three
times. These crowns are traditionally called: ‘stefana’.
It is at this point in the ceremony that the
Priest’s Gospel reading takes place where the story of the marriage of Cana
and Galilee appears. It was at this wedding that Jesus performed his first
miracle where he turned water in to wine. After this reading, the Bride and
Groom share the wine given to hem by the priest in a ‘Common Cup’. Again the
cup is passes back and forth so each of them drink from it three times.
The final tradition involved the Priest walking
the couple around the Alter three times. He then removes their stefana and
releases their previously joined hands. At this time he reminds them that
only God can break the union they have just entered into.
Traditional rituals would also include rolling
a baby on the couple’s bed so they are blessed with fertility or even throwing
money on the bed so they are blessed with wealth. There was an old tradition
of pinning money on the Bride and even the Groom at the reception for guests
to deliver their monetary gift.
In talking of a Greek wedding we can’t forget
to mention the Reception. The Celebration would last for hours. The
music and dancing would not be complete without the traditional Greek Circle
dance. Dishes are smashed for luck and money is thrown at the musicians.
The party would also have an endless supply of food with
plenty for guests to eat including the traditional: lamb
kabobs, stuffed grape leaves, ouzo, sweet desserts, sweet wine and finally,
bom bom yara which are packages that hold an odd number of white chocolate or
sugar-covered almond candies given to guests as favours. The significance of
the odd number of candies represents the couple’s unity as it is difficult to
divide an odd number. What a romantic sentiment.
Traditional Hindu Wedding
Were you
thinking maybe you could get away with a ‘smaller’ affair? Not if you want a
Wedding in the traditional Hindu style. Anticipate on having anywhere from
about 400 to 1000 people on hand for this event. Historically the true Indian
wedding is about two families uniting socially with much less emphasis on the
individuals involved. In other words the weddings were arranged by family, not
by the Bride and Groom. The wedding is broken into several stages – the “pre”
wedding entails the Barikshav – where the brides family shows they are seeking
the groom for their daughter and the groom and his family express that they
agree this union will take place. Then the Tilak follows – this is simply the
Brides family travelling to the groom’s home to formalize the relationship. A
large feast in prepared and close family will be involved in this celebration.
The main wedding event involves the groom arriving with his family and friends
in a procession called a Baraat. Because the wedding ceremony is usually
accompanied by a reception and a feast, the main marriage ceremony has been
split into two parts. The Varmala plus the reception and then the more
ritualistic part involving a priest. Immediately after the groom has arrived
with the Baraat, the groom and bride meet and exchange garlands in the Jaimala
ceremony. Once this ceremony has finished, the well wishers congratulate the
groom and the bride and present gifts to them. All the symbols used in a Hindu
wedding ceremony are present on this day: fresh flowers (to signify beauty),
coconut (to signify fertility), rice and other grains (prosperity and good
fortune), purified butter (to light the sacred fire), agni (the sacred fire,
which symbolizes purity and energy), water (to wash away any obstacles in
life). The main part of the wedding starts after the Jaimala ceremony has
finished. The groom and the bride sit beside the fire and the priest chant
hymns. At this time the groom and the bride exchange vows in front of many
gods and goddesses. Towards the end of the marriage ceremony, a ritual called
Phere ( meaning "revolutions") is performed. In this part of the event, a part
of the groom's attire and the bride's attire are tied together symbolizing
that they are now united as they go around the ceremonial fire seven times.
Each rotation around about the fire symbolizes a part of life. The bride leads
in first three rounds symbolizing that the earlier part of marriage is led by
the bride. The groom leads in the last four rounds symbolizing that the later
part of life will be led by him. As the couple circles, they repeat seven vows
of love, marriage, health, and knowledge. At the end of the circling, the
bride moves to the groom's left, taking her place closest to his heart.
Another important ritual is Satapadi, or "Taking Seven Steps Together." This
ritual involves walking alongside a line of seven nuts, which signify the
seven principles of marriage in a Hindu ceremony. Sometime during the
ceremony, the groom puts a little sindoor (red powder) in the parting of the
bride's hair and puts a mangalsutra (necklace) around her neck. These items
symbolize that she is now a married woman. Traditionally all married Hindu
women are supposed to wear sindoor in the parting of their hair for the rest
of their married lives. On the morning following the Varmala/Phere, the groom
has a final breakfast at the bride's place, and the bride leaves her parents'
house with her new husband. Traditionally, this phase is called the ‘Vidaii’
and is marked by the bride's family shedding tears and throwing rice as she
parts from the home where she grew up to start a new phase of her life.
Italian
Weddings
"Evviva gli sposi"
Translated from Italian to
English it would mean – hurray for the newlyweds! Words that you will hear
cheered and shouted at a traditional Italian wedding.
Currently we have seen a trend
where Brides and Grooms have incorporated some of their traditional heritage
into their wedding ceremony. Who would have thought it to be ‘trendy’ to see groomsmen
in kilts? Well in this day and age pretty much anything goes and old
school is the new fashion with a lot of weddings. The Italians have always
had ceremonies in Churches – BIG ceremonies with even Bigger receptions and a
bride in her Formal white gown with what seems to be as many attendants as she
can fit at the front of the church in some cases.
Some traditions and beliefs that
still factor in when planning this elaborate ceremony would include not
planning during the month of May. This month was always set aside for
worshiping the Virgin Mary. Marrying in the month of August was considered an
invitation for bad luck and sickness. As well in August many of the Italians
planned their seasonal vacations. This would cause low attendance at the
wedding so another reason why this month was avoided. Traditionally most
weddings were held Sunday. Sunday was thought to be the "luckiest day" for a
couple to join in matrimony.
Historically there were arranged
marriages in the Italian culture as well. Planned by the family and prior to
the announcement of the engagement the potential Groom; or a male family
representative, would visit the father of the Bride and ask for permission to
marry. The Women would have a diamond ring placed on her finger before they
announced the union was to take place.
Along with getting a wife the
Groom would receive some kind of dowry. This could be monetary or could also
include china and silver. The young women would have a ‘hope chest’ as well
with items collected to take into her marriage as well.
Looking back in history the Bride
would wear a green dress as green was representative of fertility. However as
with many cultures the modern influences have them in a lavish white gown for
their wedding day.
It was a custom for the groom to
carry a piece of iron in his pocket, believed to ward off the evil eye. The
bride's veil covered and protected her from evil spirits as well and for some
strange reason, tearing the veil was actually considered to bring good luck.
One custom which began years ago is the “buste" . This is where the bride
carries a satin bag (la borsa) and guests deposit envelopes containing their
gift checks. The money helped the bride's family to pay for the cost of the
wedding – in the past these expenses were their sole responsibility.
Guests
will throw rice or paper confetti at the newlyweds. In Italy
confetti represents good fortune and money so the more the guests throw the
better off for the bride and groom. It was common for a pair of doves to be
released into the ceremony. The doves were thought to symbolize love and
happiness. Nuts, grain and even candy-covered almonds tied in mesh bags (ouch)
are thrown as these items are supposed to encourage conception.
As you can well imagine the
receptions The focus at any Italian wedding is the food. Symbolic foods for
luck include twists of fried dough, powdered with sugar 'bow ties', and an
Italian wedding candy 'confetti' of almonds covered with candy.
Italian receptions include many different courses, sometimes up to
12-14!! Either a roasted baby pig, or roasted baby lamb would be served -
accompanied by pasta dishes stuffed mushrooms, olives, salami, pickled
peppers, calamari, prosciutto and fresh fruit. They newlyweds hand out sugared
almonds representing the bitter and the sweet in life. The dessert table
includes a large cake made of Italian cookies. A ‘cookie dance’ is started
much like a line dance where the bride and groom leading
guests around the dance floor and then over to the cookie cake for people to
help themselves.
Traditional Italian weddings are based on
strong religious commitments and customs. The Wedding starts with a mass in
the morning and the festivities would continue with dancing and eating well
into the early morning hours of the next day. Music is a foundation of the
Italian family so no traditional wedding would be complete without a band
playing mazzuccas and tarantellas for dancing.
Russian Weddings
Traditional old school Russian weddings had
several characteristics that are different than what most of us recognize as a
current, typical North American wedding. The wedding would last for days. A
minimum of two days or up to an entire week! A week long wedding was
something to brag about as this meant that the bride and groom had enough
liquor to keep their guests going for the week. A week that is remembered
with dancing, singing, long toasts and plenty of food and drink.
While current day Russian weddings have adopted
some traditions we are more familiar with the historic Russian weddings did
not include Flower girls, bridesmaids or any extended wedding party beyond
what would be the Best Man and Maid of Honor. In the Russian weddings they
were called only witnesses - or in Russian “svideteli”.
The event is carried out in five steps. Each
event is set up to entertain and much of the wedding is done in a somewhat
comical fashion. The start of the event is the groom going to fetch his
bride - sounds simple? not the case. He needs to have some extra time
slotted in and depending on what floor or a building she lives on this could
be a LOT
of work for him. He has to fight for her in what they call a “vykup
nevesty”. The parents are given gifts like Ransome to turn over the bride
and they can trick the groom and ask for more ransom. It's all in fun and
eventually the couple are on their way.
They may have a Church ceremony called a
“venchanie” however this has no official bearing as the government dictates
that a civil ceremony be held to make the marriage legal. This Orthodox
ceremony is quite spectacular and can last from 30 minutes to 120 minutes.
Imagine two hours of ceremony and it doesn't even count? The Civil ceremony
called the “rospis v zagse” would follow the church and it attended usually
just by very close friends in family in the Government office called ZAGS.
The events at the ZAGS are quite similar to a Civil service in North
America with a
few exceptions. The couple is greeted with Bread and Salt, as a symbol of
health, a long life and prosperity The ceremony will typically last about 15
minutes where they are asked if they accept the other as their spouse,
exchange rings, sign the registry and their witnesses sign as well. The
parents of young couple will give them crystal glasses they are to break - the
more shards of glass the greater the number of years together in wedding
bliss.
Step number four is to load the couple and
witnesses, any any other family and friends there may be room for into a
Limousine and to drive around the city or town. They are looking for
historical or memorable locations to take pictures.
Step five, the most important of all - the
reception. It's loud, its long and the toasts, contests, singing, dancing,
eating and drinking are carried out for days. From my readings you don't ever
want to miss the second day as it's usually more fun than the first.
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